Madness

In the past 3 weeks I have seen, done and said things that have dire consequences. I do not know if its for the better or the worst, but I know I have been putting on a front I do not like to and of words I didn't believe in. Every facade displayed I hope will someday reap a future better for my family, but each mask donned makes me feel more burdened to be someone who cannot truly say or do what he wants to be. When all quiets down in the middle of night and I can clearly hear the heavy thumping of my heart, hell break lose within. With no one to disturb the intensity of complete isolation, my own thoughts and feelings run wild, untamed from chains of reality. Perhaps thats the reason I am afraid of the dark; I am in the darkness and the day gives me the light I need to continue my work.